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Joke of the Day

"How old do I look? 9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any"

"Anyone wanting to hide information from me should just put it in a spreadsheet and email it to me."

"How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall. It depends on how hard you throw them"

"Plans to move the Russian Embassy from its current location have had to be postponed. Because Donald Trump won't pull his head out of the new place."

"Maybe ghosts ARE real and you never see them on paranormal investigation shows because they're too put off by leather statement jewelry."

"A husband says to his wife... ""I killed 5 flies today. 2 were female, 3 were male."" Wife asks: ""How do you know?"" Husband says: ""2 were on the phone and 3 were on the beer can."""

"If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn't make me excited, pull the plug."

"A threesome with an older couple Girl: Babe come over Guy: Can't having a threesome with an older couple Girl: My parents are not home Guy: I know"

"Why shouldn't you gamble in Africa? Too many cheetahs.."