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Joke of the Day

"I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes!! Use your teeth."

"What did the apple say to the apple pie? ""You've got some crust."""

"What electronic device leaves behind a lot of broken glass? A PC, seeing how they typically run on Windows!"

"The new Tattoo parlor across the street is free if you show boobs... ...Tit for tat."

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your mouth."

"Ever heard of the blind hooker? You really gotta hand it to 'er."

"[first day as tour guide on the moon] Me: keep your hats on Guy at the back: um they're called helmets Me: yeah you can take your hat off."

"What's a hotdog's best subject in school? History. Because history has always been written by wieners."

"Trump and Cruz are fighting over whose dick is bigger and whose spouse is a bigger whore. Two more contests Hillary will win."