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Joke of the Day

"Why did the witch go commando? She needed some better grip on her broomstick."

"France and Italy declare war... France surrenders and Italy switches sides. Both countries lose."

"Have you heard the joke that they don't tell assholes? Oh, no? Nevermind then."

"Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns? They promised freaky fast delivery"

"People with guns, asking for your money... ...You've got to hand it to them."

"What's the difference between a tribe of clever pygmies and a girls' track team? One is a group of cunning runts."

"After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off. ""You're self-employed you stupid bastard,"" I said."

"The Very Hungry Caterpillar taught me that I can binge eat carbs and then take a two week nap and I'll become beautiful."

"Diarrhea is hereditary... It runs in the jeans (genes)"

"Why did the gay guy cross the road? I'll let you know when I get to the other side."