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Joke of the Day

"If you build a person a fire, they'll be warm for a day. Set them on fire & they'll never worry about being warm again."

"How do you know the universe likes Saturn? It put a ring on it."

"What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry? Chicken tikka m'sala"

"The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu. It's Secret Asian Flan"

"I know a cannibal who only eats women's genitalia. Sometimes I go over to their house for a clambake."

"To all /r/Jokes subs you really need the A"

"What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes? He was just a nerdy digger."

"Remember: if you see a tie on my doorknob, it means I'm taking the door to prom"

"""If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily"

"Life is like a box of chocolates: Disturbingly expensive, yet... vaguely disappointing."