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Joke of the Day
"The time machine of tomorrow. Today."
Next Joke
"I just ate an entire bag of Werther's and now I'm 80 years old, own a floral couch, smoke Virginia Slims, got a perm and my name is Shirley."
"Never buy the first round cause that's when people care what they're drinking!"
"When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses."
"Religion is like AIDS. Keep it to yourself."
"[Pilot intercom] Me: ""Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."""
"Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures. Patient: Okay doc but don't forget to send your bill to the other man."
"Call your son Jack So you can drop your wife and Jack off every morning. (Actually heard a friend said that)"
"What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady? But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?"
"Politics... ..."