38541

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the assassin who was given forty years to complete his assignment? He had some time to kill."

"I bet there are at least a few seconds when a tiger is chasing you where you look back and are like, ""awwww..."""

"What does it look like when someone is drowning? lol"

"I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired. Life is impossible."

"Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!"

"What do you do if you start seeing a little glowing green man Walk across the street"

"Dubstep joke Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob bubububu Bob Bob WuuuuOOOOWWWubwubwubwub edit: formatting"

"Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face."

"I masturbated to Princess Leia the other day It was a hand solo."

"My pet mouse ""Elvis"" has died :( He was caught in a trap......."