82010

Joke of the Day

"What did the sheep at the fraternity say? Braaaaaaaah"

"Why wasn't Sarah Jessica Parker cast in ""Seabiscuit""? I don't think she auditioned for the movie, or was even considered for it. And she was busy with ""Sex and the City"" anyway."

"Fine! I do actually believe in a higher being.. His name is Jonathan and he's about 5 inches higher than me. That bastard."

"What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence? I don't know and I don't care."

"[driving test] INSTRUCTOR: Any initial concerns? ME: Volcanoes I: About the test? M: No I: Ok then let's go M: *drives into active volcano*"

"What's the difference between a gun and a penis? One is used to kill brats, the other makes brats."

"What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of? Plutocracy"

"The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the"

"A woman I met had 13 children all named David. When I asked her how she calls just one of them, she said, ""Oh that's easy; I just call them by their last names."""

"Any sink has a garbage disposal if you push hard enough."