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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an snobbish Mongolian ruler going down the stairs? A condescending Khan descending."

"Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course no one pays the least bit of attention."

"What do you call dirt? Dirty."

"What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most? Harrelson's woodie."

"*stops by new neighbor* Welcome, I brought you a cake! -Wow, thank you! You know, you didn't have to do that! Oh, ok. *walks away with cake*"

"Why is marriage like a tornado? Sure it's all sucking and blowing in the beginning, but by time it is over your house is gone."

"My boss bought a breathalyzer for our office because everyone comes back from lunch drunk. My personal best is .16"

"What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOWntain! Thank you."

"What do you call a cow that can't produce milk? Utterly useless"

"So I was talking to my Australian friend when I asked him what country his Mother was from ""Alaska"" ""Okay well tell me what she says"""