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Joke of the Day

"Why is marriage like a tornado? Sure it's all sucking and blowing in the beginning, but by time it is over your house is gone."

"How do you build suspense in people?"

"Stop with the phone sex You might get hearing aids"

"*takes long drag from cigarette* *stares off into the distance* *slowly glances down at hand* *lights cigarette*"

"I eat a wide variety of foods: lasagna, tacos, hamburgers... and dim sum."

"I renamed my night club Viagra... It's been 4 hours and people are still cuming!"

"I saw my ex wife in a grocery store. ""Having fun there?"" I asked her, as she felt up the apples. ""Does that remind you of someone?"" She said, ""No, but this does,"" Then she started rubbing the grapes."

"Why do black people have white palms? Everyone has a little good in them."

"What do you get when you take an HIV medication and raise the price 5,000%? Rich AND famous, apparently"

"Naming my daughter ""A Relationship"" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her."