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Joke of the Day

"What do you call dirt? Dirty."

"I had a dream I was going to the zoo to throw poop at the monkeys. No, not my own poop, thats just gross. Poop I found on the way to zoo."

"I'm not sure if I heard a bootleg firecracker... or a pound of dynamite."

"WARNING! If you get an e-mail with the title of ""Nude Photo of Newt Gingrich"" DO NOT OPEN IT! It IS a nude photo of Newt Gingrich."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? - ""Breathe, stupid!"""

"This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had. It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis."

"Love your neighbor, but don't get caught."

"Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad"

"Please take selfies. There are enough pictures of sunsets and airplane wings. Your face is more interesting."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."