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Joke of the Day

"A year on twitter... I remember when all this was fields."

"Two thieves try to steal a calendar. They each got six months."

"[interrogation] ""What do you do for a living?"" ""Kidnapper."" ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] ""I'm a pig rapper. I make farmyard hiphop."""

"Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis? The Mexican government has decided to build apartment"

"Magician walking down the street A magician is walking down a street, he then turns into a grocery store."

"Do you want to hear a powerball joke? Sorry, odds are you won't get it."

"When I die, I'm not donating my body to science, but I might donate it to the English department and freak the shit out of some people."

"Guy: Do you like Cds? Girl: Um, sure that's a weird question why? Guy: Cuz u about to see deez nuts!"

"What did Hitler call his records store? The Vinyl Solution."

"Why is Hannibal so rich? Well, he save on groceries."