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Joke of the Day

"The Pope walks into a Mosque. The imam says ""Why the wrong faith?"""

"What can a lawyer do that a duck can't? Stick his bill up his arse."

"I usually close my eyes when I kiss girls. Not as much pepper spray gets in that way."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like an apple. We must get to the core of this!"

"I spend more time on twitter than I do in church. I'd rather vent to imaginary friends on the Internet than to imaginary friends in the sky."

"Doctor: ""Well, Mrs Jones, you are eating for two now!"" Kate: ""I'm pregnant?!"" Doctor: ""No. You have a tapeworm."""

"Theory: The Winter Olympics were invented by the cowbell industry."

"What's the difference between a jeep and a rental car? A rental car can go anywhere"

"You're not fat, you're just... easier to see."

"[Phone with Mom] ""Did you just friend request me?"" I'm on fb now ""I'm not adding you"" Fine do your own laundry then *accepts friend request*"