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Joke of the Day
"Why did the blond snort NutraSweet? She thought it was diet coke."
Next Joke
"Eric Garner tried stand up comedy... But he choked on stage."
"I want to become a librarian so bad. I love books but I love telling people to shut up even more."
"What do you call two nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call two nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call two nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."
"I want to study... the area below your curves... It is integral."
"Christmas with the family While I greatly enjoy the presence of their company, I prefer the company of their presents."
"Personal trainer: So what's your goal? Me: I wanna look good in pictures that I'm not the one taking"
"Accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside"
"I wouldn't trust atoms if I were you. They make up everything."
"It must be so good to speak signal language. You can talk with your mouth full"