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Joke of the Day
"me: one time i almost got trampled to death in a mosh pit kid: did you die? me: hmm"
Next Joke
"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See ya next month."
"What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ? Gravi-tea !"
"I ran into my X the other day. Now I have to get my bicycle repaired."
"I went into panera the other day The clerk said, ""do you want a side of chips or a French baguette?"" I replied, ""never baguette."""
"Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: - Are you crazy Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute. - Is it mandatory to wear it? - Sure. It's raining outside."
"My rapper name would be ""Iffy Scent"""
"Why does my van have windows? I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance."
"Life's most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water."
"Hedgehogs... Why can't they just share the damn hedge?!"