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Joke of the Day

"I went into panera the other day The clerk said, ""do you want a side of chips or a French baguette?"" I replied, ""never baguette."""

"Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Chinese dudes jumped out and yelled ""supplies!"""

"My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She is my buttercup and i'm her useless sack of s hit."

"Frank has no arms. **Knock knock who's there?** Not Frank."

"Genie: I'll give you more wishes, I feel bad for you Me: [with 3 ice cream cones on the ground] That's very nice of you"

"What's the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money? Collect unemployment insurance!"

"Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand."

"Murphy asked Paddy... Murphy asked Paddy, ""What ringtone have you got?"" Paddy said, ""I've never really looked, but probably light brown"

"Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!"

"I once threw a boomerang, not knowing what it was for... Then it hit me."