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Joke of the Day

"My Girlfriend told me she didn't want anything for Birthday I didn't give her anything :O #ThugLife"

"If the name of your song is not a prominent lyric of the song, I respect you, but I don't have time for you."

"I've had a really bad day. First, my wife got ran over by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver."

"Push-up men's underwear. Taking complexes to a whole new level."

"LPT before weighing yourself, take a poop... You'll weigh a shit load less."

"So I fucked this bitch last night, but she was really clingy. I asked a friend for his insight, he said ""Yeah man, golden retrievers can be like that sometimes."""

"are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]"

"What is yellow and smells like red paint? Yellow paint."

"How did Jesus feel when they crucified him? He was cross."

"""Are there drug dealers on Twitter?"" Asking for 522 friends."