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Joke of the Day
"LPT before weighing yourself, take a poop... You'll weigh a shit load less."
Next Joke
"How did the anus win against the race car driver? He rectum"
"I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary... ...What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous."
"I'm only human. And like all humans, I'm a fucking asshole."
"Our son came home one day with a note from his first grade teacher: Your son bit another boy today. Is he getting enough to eat at home ?"
"Interviewer: When were you most satisfied at your last job? Me: After lunch, next question."
"I dated a girl once who turned out to be a cannibal. That really came back to bite me in the ass."
"I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips..."
"Lazy people fact #4564321564 You were too lazy to read that number."
"Me and my girlfriend are just too different... I exist and she doesn't"