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Joke of the Day

"If the name of your song is not a prominent lyric of the song, I respect you, but I don't have time for you."

"The difference between a scientist and a plumber... The way you pronounce unionized."

"Tried my hand at this whole 'cougar' business but I just don't like the taste of hikers. It's possible I read the wrong Wikipedia page."

"I might commit suicide at lunch today... ...and mix all of the soft drinks together!!!"

"Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones. Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant."

"Nobody wanted to see the naked banana . . . it just lacked appeal"

"What does a man with a 12 inch penis have for breakfast? this morning I had bacon and eggs."

"My Archimedes Heel is Greek references"

"How do you know if you are a necrophiliac? You get mourning wood"

"Cinderella Joke What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? UGHACKLURB (Gagging noise)"