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Joke of the Day

"A jewish kid asks his dad for $5.... The Dad says, ""$4!? I don't have $3! What do you need $2 for??"

"A patron kicked out of a bar. Who is a drunk and belligerent Alex Trebek?"

"So the test results are in. It's bad news guys, the doctor says I'm colour blind. Ill be honest with you, that diagnosis came totally out of the pink."

"At this point in my life... At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer."

"That thing your kid said wasn't funny."

"I invented a realistic sex simulator. It doesn't work on me because realistically nobody wants to have sex with me."

"Did you hear about the guy who decided to put the S next to the D? He was in the newd today."

"I'm not a mechanic so I don't know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people."

"As I looked at myself naked in the mirror I thought to myself... I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea in a minute."

"Why do white men shop at black yard sales? To get all their stuff back."