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Joke of the Day

"GUY (whose car died): can u help me? I need a jump ME (pulling a trampoline out of my trunk): im always prepared for emergencies like this"

"Blackjack is a lot like my love life. I always hit on 16"

"I really understand how batteries feel... I'm rarely included in things either."

"[Dad jokes anonymous] ""...and I'm clean 30 days"" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD ""DAMN IT, JERRY!"""

"How do you clean a seat for a woman? Wipe your face"

"When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever."

"I have pet snakes, turtles, and lizards. They are a family but I think they hate each other. I think I have A reptile disfunction."

"FBI offers to help France investigate the terrorist attacks. So far, they think North Korea is behind it."

"What do you call a discount sauna? A steam sale"

"Saw a young couple holding hands today & it reminded me that I need to buy a bottle of vodka"