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Joke of the Day

"So I accidentally sent nudes to everyone in my address book. Worst part about it? Cost me a small fortune in postage stamps."

"What does an astronaut say when he's sorry? All my Apollo-gies."

"I was at Morrisons earlier and the cashier asked a foreign couple if they needed help packing. I thought ""Fuck me, this is getting serious"""

"[Haunted House] Ghost:You've been here a week Me: I like you G:You knew what this was M: I thought I was your boo G: I say that to everyone"

"What happens if you smoke weed in a musilm country? Simple, you get stoned twice"

"gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes"

"I finally found a diet plan that works. It's called ""The cost of food""."

"I went to a party at Paris Hilton's place last night. The party was fun but now I feel hungover. I tried to take some paracetamol but Paris-ate-them-all. hew hew"

"Pretty unfair how gargoyles just monopolized rooftop perches."

"I'm having a hard time trying to decide on which pencil to use for my English literature exam. 2B or not 2B - that is the question."