142011

Joke of the Day

"I finally found a diet plan that works. It's called ""The cost of food""."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Israel? Hillary won't suck Bill's dick."

"Unlike MC Hammer's regulations, you can pretty much touch anything of mine you want."

"My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said ""what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"""

"How did Canada get its name? They had a bag of letters, and one person announced as he picked each letter out "" 'C', eh, 'N', eh, 'D', eh""."

"In honor of today's date (May the 4th be with you) I came up with a Star Wars joke Did you hear about the new Jedi beer? It's Force Ale."

"What do you call a women with one leg? Aileen Unless she's Asian, then you call her Irene."

"What's long and hard and makes women groan? An ironing board."

"heard this on Storage Wars A Chinese couple own a restaurant, they're in the bedroom and the husband asks if they can 69 and the wife says why you want beef and broccoli now?"

"We're having a lawnmower sale down at Lowes Buy one get Juan free!"