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Joke of the Day

"I went to a party at Paris Hilton's place last night. The party was fun but now I feel hungover. I tried to take some paracetamol but Paris-ate-them-all. hew hew"

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella while it was raining That takes the amount of girls I've made wet to -1"

"Somalis at the Olympics... The Somalian Olympic Committee issued an official apology earlier in the week, after realising that sailing and shooting are separate events."

"A man died and the whole country was in mourning then it became the afternoon, followed by the evening and then the night."

"I changed my last name on Facebook to ""dis"", so I can start disliking the stupid stuff people post"

"I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble"

"Living in Switzerland sucks but the flag is a big plus."

"The fact Michael Jackson had to ask Annie if she was OK nearly 100 times in four minutes makes me think she probably wasn't OK."

"Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right."

"Laughter really is the best medicine... Except for diarrhea."