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Joke of the Day

"May I hold your baby? May I throw her across the room into that pile of empty boxes? Okay, I'll just hold her then."

"Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic? He needed to change attire. (I'm probably too proud of myself for making this one; someone's almost definitely done it before.)"

"Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they're getting insulted or complimented daily."

"Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, ""what kinda robot does that one turn into?"""

"If horror movies have taught me anything, it's lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as ""mother"" or ""father."""

"If you are what you eat Does that make Jeffery Dahmer a young man?"

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton get in a car wreck, who survives? America."

"I just call everyone viewers...... so I won't mistake their gender."

"Why are blind people bad at programming? Because they can't C"

"I want to buy the most elevated premium male deer, but it doesn't need to have the highest prize stag."