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Joke of the Day

"I want to buy the most elevated premium male deer, but it doesn't need to have the highest prize stag."

"Did you hear about the terrorists who hijacked a plane of lawyers? They threatened to release one every hour til their demands were met."

"Shakespeare & The Beatles walk into a pub... ...Landlord says, ""sorry mate, you're barred and those guys are banned""."

"I work at a women's shoe store Sometimes I tie the laces together... Bitches be trippin'"

"My buddy went to a foreign country to get his sex change operation. Now he's a dude who's abroad."

"What do you call a soldier with long arms? An army soldier"

"""Daddy, do you like princesses?"" ""Yes."" ""Why?"" ""Well usually they have a nice set of ti-"" Wife: ""Shut it."" ""I WILL NOT LIE TO MY SON."""

"My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus"

"""Give it to me!"" she said, ""I'm so fcuking wet, give it to me right now!"" And I replied, ""Fcuk you, it's my umbrella!"

"A baby seal walks into a club. buh dum tssss."