36810

Joke of the Day

"Did you here about the guy who turned to Scientologists to escape his past? Out with Xeold, in with Xenu! :P"

"Kid: Mommy's last name must be ""Honey"" cuz that's what daddy calls her Teacher: That's SWEET. What's her first name? Kid: ""Sorry,"" I think"

"I sure get a lot of compliments on my people skills for someone who flips off 10 people every day."

"I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory."

"Back in my day, I used to have to walk 4 miles to the nearest store. Because I had too many DUIs."

"Remember that time Hitler had a juice cleanse?"

"I had developed a porn addiction, but now I come here instead. These jokes really turn me off!"

"""Don't make me regret this."" -things I think when accepting a friend request."

"I was in an Arby's bathroom taking a leak and the urinal cake fell to the floor but it was there for less than 5 seconds so I still ate it."

"Why do penguins have skinny penises because they only have flippers"