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Joke of the Day

"I sure get a lot of compliments on my people skills for someone who flips off 10 people every day."

"If you're looking for something fun and exciting to do, why not try anti-gravity? It never lets me down!"

"For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted"

"So a guy gets his arm and leg cut off..... Its okay he's all right."

"Chuck Norris walked in a chinese restaurant and asked for Chicken Parmesan with Bruschetta bread...and got it."

"What do you call bears with no ears? b"

"Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy."

"My Jewish girlfriend left me for a black man. Nigga stole my kike."

"Why did Bill Gates & Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, ""Go fish""."

"Capitalization is important. NSFW Capitalization is the difference between ""I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse."" and ""I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."""