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Joke of the Day
"""Don't make me regret this."" -things I think when accepting a friend request."
Next Joke
"So I was eating out this girl one time... And then I tasted horse cum, and said ''Grandma that's how you died''"
"Fired from my job as an autopsy technician for repeatedly asking ""are you gonna eat that?"" during the procedures."
"Why did the Burger steal a heater? Because he was cold. Get it? ""Burr..."""
"Bill Cosby sure does love pudding Pudding his dick where it doesn't belong."
"I got a puppy for my girlfriend. It was the best trade ever!"
"Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear"
"Why do we all need a Jew for a friend? Because he'll never give you a penny for your thoughts, he'll never put his two cents in, & he'll never drop a dime on you!"
"""Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?"" [ sigh ] ""You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe."" [ bathrobe sags dejectedly ]"
"Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum."