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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing."

"There are two types of people in this world... Those that can recognise when data is missing..."

"What did the sergeant say to the corporal? I need to see your privates."

"I don't go to Applebee's often I know how to microwave my own meals"

"What do you call an extroverted snail? A slug"

"I like my woman like I like my vodka.... Gone in the morning."

"Current fitness level: arm is tired from brushing teeth."

"Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson? The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library."

"Have you heard about the two guys who tried to steal a calendar? They each got six months"

"Who do you call during a Zika virus emergency? The SWAT team"