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Joke of the Day

"What did the sergeant say to the corporal? I need to see your privates."

"How many women does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work."

"This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it."

"I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon."

"""i cnat believe this!"" he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. ""i would expect this from the others but not u"" he says to 1 specific bee"

"Son: Dad, I just had sex. Dad: Good job son, sit down, we need to talk about something. Son: I can't."

"DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present"

"I don't understand ads on p0rn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like ""woah! that's the new detergent?"""

"Just found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they are way too big for him."

"Can't imagine what's it like to have no imagination."