196424
Joke of the Day
"Who do you call during a Zika virus emergency? The SWAT team"
Next Joke
"Satellite Radio. (Sirius Tweet)"
"In the Navy, how do you separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar."
"*Takes out phone & plays Cindi Lauper's True Colors as you reach for the last slice of pizza without asking*"
"Your perfume/cologne should reward someone for getting close, not punish them for being in the same building."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster who got breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."
"Have fun, but be careful. Your sister was vacuumed up last week, and yesterday your cousin was killed with a shoe. - spider moms, probably"
"[flying remote control helicopter near my wife] GET THAT THING AWAY FROM MY- [helicopter gets tangled in her hair & now I'm a dead person]"
"What do you call a dentist in the army ? A drill sergeant !"
"Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Never mind, I forgot."