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Joke of the Day

"I was given a book, ""How to play the didgeridoo."" All the pages are empty besides one that says, ""Far away from me."""

Next Joke
 
"Yo girl, are you from UPS? Cause I saw you checkin' out my package."
"What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1000 people."
"[speed dating] ME: I like your hair HER: OK ME: And your teeth are so smiley HER: You know this is a job interview, right? ME: *rings bell*"
"My granddad has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from Bristol Zoo."
"chicken & KFC Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC? A: He wanted to see a chicken strip."
"Why do sandwiches never have kids? Because they always turn out in-bread."
"I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well."
"I use the word ""thingy"" when I cant think of the word: Me- Are you picking up the ""thingy's?"" Wife- ...you mean your kids? Me- Dont judge me"
"Shoutout to sidewalks! For keeping me off the streets..."