201612

Joke of the Day

"I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well."

"What did the Chinese food say to the patron? ""Please, don't eat me! I'm Egg Foo Yung to die!"""

"The Indian food market My buddy asked me if I wanted to get lunch with him at the new Indian food market and I said namaste (nah... ima stay)"

"9/11 was a national tragedy. So is 11/9."

"Watch out for children on the road. They're terrible drivers."

"What do 7 million Chevy's have in common? I don't recall."

"Why was Luke Skywalker late? He didn't run, ewok-ed."

"What was the last thing that went through the fly's head when he hit the windshield? His ass."

"Why was the sea snail sad? Because it was abalonely"

"I am feeling very optimistic, but I bet it won't last."