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Joke of the Day

"ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers."

"My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy."

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives"

"Great news teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine. So what's so great about that? It's snowing outside!"

"Interviewer: ""What did you like best about your last job?"" Me: ""Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."""

"If you count a little kid on another kid's shoulders under a trench coat as two people, then I have had TWO boyfriends"

"Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies."

"A silly little joke I just made up about schizophrenia Person 1: I'm not schizophrenic! Person 2: I never said you were. Person 1: Oh, sorry, I guess I must be hearing things."

"My Home Internet Password 2kids1dog. Thats an orgy I don't want to be apart of."