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Joke of the Day

"If you count a little kid on another kid's shoulders under a trench coat as two people, then I have had TWO boyfriends"

"What's a pirates favourite letter? Ye think it be the R, but 'tis the C."

"I only watch Storage Wars to see if they find my ex's body. Just kidding. I like the show. And she's buried in the woods."

"What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body? Rigatoni!"

"Dark humor is like food in North Korea Not everyone gets it."

"Dear Santa, us big girls like toys too......just put them in the second drawer of my nightstand!"

"There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro."

"What's the difference between God and Donald Trump? God doesn't think he's Donald Trump"

"What do you call Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game? Homogeneous."

"""Does this mean that we're going to be BFFs forever?"