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Joke of the Day

"Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing."

"What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme? Ring Around the Rooooozaaay."

"What's the darkest dark humor joke you got? I start!.. What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"Just learned that if lightning strikes within 50 feet of you, you can speak every language simultaneously and pee out of your eyes."

"Horny rooster What does a normal rooster say? cock-a-doodle-doo! what does a horny rooster say? any-cock-will-do!"

"What do you call a psychic little person on the lam? A small medium at large"

"My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid."

"Don't run with scissors because you might accidentally trip, fall and cut the grand opening ribbon of a new museum 2 weeks ahead of schedule"

"Pretty cool how there are athletes preparing to head to the Olympics in a little over a month and I just got winded making my bed."

"When I was a kid I prayed every night for a new bicycle Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead edit: woohoo #1"