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Joke of the Day

"Don't run with scissors because you might accidentally trip, fall and cut the grand opening ribbon of a new museum 2 weeks ahead of schedule"

Next Joke
 
"What's everyone doing for Seis de Mayo?"
"I would tell a Sith joke... but I don't know if you like darth humor."
"Why was the Frenchmen racist? Because he was a bigette."
"I use to have crabs... Until the bigger bugs ate them."
"I feel like a crushed Coke can on the sidewalk. Soda pressed."
"Where do people go for pasta related crimes? A PENNEtentiary!"
"Feeling pretty good about myself today so I'm going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal"
"If life gives you melons... you're probably dyslexic."
"me: ""what is a librarian's favourite food?"" dog: me: ""SHUSHI lmao"" dog: [starts putting his toys in suitcase]"