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Joke of the Day

"What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme? Ring Around the Rooooozaaay."

"prayers by believers to a ""Sweet Jesus"" imply additional deities: Sour Jesus, Salty Jesus, Umami Jesus and, most frighteningly, Bitter Jesus"

"The difference between Julius Caesar and a Rapist? Caesar came, saw, and conquered, a rapist saw, conquered and came."

"Broke Last night, a burglar broke into my flat looking for some money. I woke up and went with him to join him in the search."

"Not to brag but both my kids are from the same dad"

"Did you hear about Vivaldi's finances? He was one Baroque mother fucker"

"A Mexican Magician says he will disappear on the count of three... He starts counting ""uno... dos.."" and *poof* he disappeared without a tres."

"So I have had this joke in my mind for awhile but cannot figure out the best delivery... Why is it ok for police to keep rape kits in their cars? but if I have one, I am some sort of criminal."

"I'm selling my talking parrot..... Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me."

"People find it fascinating I can lift 180kg from the bench. Weird, I thought people found it easy to stand up from park benches."