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Joke of the Day

"What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? ...Nothing, because he was jewish."

"This woman I met last night says she wants a guy who is ""spontaneous and fun"". Yet when I tapped on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it is all panic and screaming."

"[Nsfw] What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card. ""What is this 45 in math?"" asked her father. ""I think that's the size of the class"" she said quickly!"

"Teen smoking is down 35 percent from when I was a kid. Unfortunately, so is teen ""coolness."""

"I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic."

"Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream? A: He was hit by a bus"

"What do you call a lighter that is only used for weed? A highlighter Edit: Or a Bud Light Courtesy of u/isnottoast"

"What do you call a cross between two KKK members? Burning"

"Damn girl, are you my Boy Scout troop leader? Cause you're making me pitch a tent."