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Joke of the Day
"Dear ugly people, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol"
Next Joke
"I just purchased duct tape at the Dollar Store to fix all of the other shit I bought at the Dollar Store. Life is going exactly as planned."
"This mouthbreathing, fat creepy dude at work baked a cake and wrote, ""Eat cake if you want to be my girlfriend"" on it. I'm so torn right now"
"You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!"
"What do you call a piece of poo that assualts you in the ocean? A shart attack"
"What's three times worse than OCD? OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait..."
"Science tells us there are far fewer female autists than male... But thanks to the pay gap, there are far more female starving autists."
"Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. It's simple meth."
"Why are there so many good jokes about feminists? Well, they're huge targets..."
"Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play ""Cowboys and Indians."" Democrats don't either as long as the Indians win."