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Joke of the Day

"I don't mind head lice, unless I have to take them out of people's hair. But that's just me nitpicking."

"Why are all smart Mexicans guys gay? Because they do their essays."

"I bought a dry erase board to improve my time management skills but the only thing that's improved is my ability to draw dicks."

"My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat"

"I didn't want to walk in the woods. But i was forest"

"Why was my other pillow jealous? Because I like to sleep around."

"Why did the investor invest in exercise equipment? Because it was worth the weight!"

"My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore."

"[1st date] *recalls buddy said women like a manly man* *but also, be sensitive* I like to work with my hands, But splinters make me cry."

"I would give anything to get my ex-wife back . But shes already got the house, the car and the kids"