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Joke of the Day

"I made a pass at my girlfriend's mum and my girlfriend is furious... She tripped over the ball and broke her nose."

"A horse walks into a bar... And being a horse, and incapable of speech, he poops on the floor and walks out."

"*goes to pond* *duck hands me $100* ""Give me the hard stuff."" *hands over bag of croutons*"

"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it."

"Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy."

"There was a kidnapping at my school He woke up."

"What's the difference between fancy food and military food? Fancy food is delicious, but military food is deliciousir!"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again."

"Shouts out to the Trump Tower suction cup guy for being the second craziest person to ascend that building."

"So we're all thinking it by this point! Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F"