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Joke of the Day
"*goes to pond* *duck hands me $100* ""Give me the hard stuff."" *hands over bag of croutons*"
Next Joke
"What do you get when you kill a body of water in a comic book? A Deadpool."
"What do you call a def, Mexican Superman? No hero"
"I think I have procrastination disease. I'll go to the doctor later."
"Surprised to find out that the untold part of Dracula Untold is that he's a weed-smoking libertarian"
"I've decided never to buy anything off the Internet again, after getting conned last week. I ordered what was supposed to be the world's largest cardboard box, but the one it came in was bigger."
"My wife is acting like giving me the silent treatment for four days is a bad thing."
"Before I go to the airport I'm going to swallow a Hot Wheels car & an action figure. Then when they scan me I'm going to act like Godzilla."
"What do you call a gang of tires? A rubber band"
"If our feet had mouths then they'd be walkie talkies."