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Joke of the Day

"Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy."

"We see you, people with transitions glasses that haven't fully adjusted to the correct lighting. We see you."

"Would you like to buy a car for half price* *half the price of two."

"Bill Cosby and Steve Harvey walk into a bar... (complete the damn thing)"

"Why did the paedophilic bestialist not answer his name? Because he was feeling a little horse."

"My New Years resolution is to not make a New Years resolution. I figure I am going to fuck it up anyway... I may as well do it from the start."

"If a guy calls Life Alert and says ""Help I can't get up!!"" Does he have ED or can he really not get up??"

"Carp we hit an iceberg! What am I herring? This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me? You're so shellfish Fin"

"A scientist and a hooker walk into a bar... But find that they can't open the door due to an over-saturation of priests, rabbis, lawyers, and Irishmen inside."

"What do women and modern computers have in common? Neither one will accept a 3 and a half inch floppy"