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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between fancy food and military food? Fancy food is delicious, but military food is deliciousir!"

"You haven't built just a wall around you; you've constructed a bomb shelter inside a nuclear bunker set into the side of a mountain."

"Do scientists know how Ebola effects white people yet?"

"I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging Ever since then, my muggings have been a lot more successful!"

"""tell... my wife... i loved her..."" carl dies. NOO! U LOVED HER WHAT?! *shakes body* U LOVED HER... TITYS? HER CAT? *slaps face* PLS WAKE UP"

"In Louisville, KY where bars are open till 4 am. Here's my slogan for them: ""Get upchucky in Kentucky."""

"Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :("

"what did the horny man say to his girlfriend? let's have sex"

"A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a base model civic."

"Autocorrect doesn't recognize my gangsta nature."