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Joke of the Day

"Floyd Mayweather got off again even when there was a video of him beating her. Because it was so boring the jury walked out half way through."

"How does a communist do well in school? He gets good marx."

"Did you hear the one about the baseball player murdered mid-game? He went down swinging!"

"My drive was long today; I hit every red light. The traffic signals were a pain as well."

"Tim Cook bravely announces he's gay. The world pats his hand like a kindly grandmother. ""We know, dear."""

"I lost my girlfriend recently. Then the topic moved away from science and she was fine again."

"I hired a personal trainer and my first 2 hour-long sessions were just him teaching me how to properly cut the sleeves off my t-shirts"

"Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?"

"What do you call a place where they don't allow sleeveless shirts? A gun free zone"

"Why don't Muslims fight each other often? Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now"