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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the baseball player murdered mid-game? He went down swinging!"

"I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes ""Man, you're such a Cheetah!"" and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever."

"So, a girl was giving me a handjob... and I told her to stop because she was rubbing me the wrong way."

"Grandma didn't do 69 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53, that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"I was on the bus with my gf and this smoking hot Thai chick sat next to me. I thought ""don't get a boner, don't get a boner."" But she did."

"Let's turn that frown upside down! ** **does handstand** **"

"Soviet dating advice Stop stalin, do not russian to things, putin an effort"

"Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then."

"When did razors get so expensive? Three more payments and I'll be able to shave"

"5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe."