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Joke of the Day

"i still remember the disappointment when i learned that ""diuretic"" doesn't mean ""gives you diarrhea."" (it was 20 minutes ago)"

"*Eats a snack while making a snack*"

"The average married couple has sex 68 times a year. I should be pretty busy the next couple weeks."

"A dung beetle walks into a bar ""Is this stool taken?"""

"Some crazy Spanish lady just killed a passenger simply because of the way he chose to travel... It was a loco motive."

"A logician just had a baby Her friends ask her: ""A boy or a girl?"" She replies: ""Yes"""

"[Frugal] I ran behind a bus all the way home and save $2.25. Got home and girlfriend mocked me saying had I run behind a cab, I would have saved $15."

"If you have to wait a while to get a fast food order, say, ""I thought this was FAST food."" The place will never recover from that mega burn"

"Aww you passed out, let's see what you've got in your wallet, shall we?"

"Since the presidential race has literally a dick measuring contest... who would win the election if the election is decided by dick measurements? Hillary Clinton of course!"