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Joke of the Day

"I just starred in a movie about a guy who sells car parts Don't worry, I won't give away any spoilers"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn't think he's a lawyer."

"My scout leader taught me a very valuable lesson... ... ""If you lick your fingers and wet it a little, it will slide right in"". Threading needles has never been this easy!"

"It was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve! - someone who believes in talking snakes"

"New friend: want 2 go tanning w/me tmrw? Me: ok. sounds fun. idk where 2 get cowhides. do u?"

"Me: *breathes* *gains weight*"

"So maybe downloading the ruler app to measure the snow wasn't such a great idea"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anne ! Anne who ? Anne apple just fell on my head !"

"Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers? They needed a developer."

"Don't keep grudges, let everything aside and give a good hug to your enemies!!! ...when you are really sick"