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Joke of the Day

"Here's a good one my dad told me.. A sober Irishman walks out of a bar.."

"How does a flower get pollinated? Beez Nuts!"

"Miracle? They say Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas."

"I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony. I just imagined everyone with their clothes on."

"I always scroll to see how long an article is before I don't read it."

"*doesn't look up from phone* I do"

"[pulls up after first date] Me: well, this is my place Her: a bouncy house? Me: you expected a bouncy castle? IM SORRY ""YOUR MAJESTY."""

"I am busy contemplating my future. Don't worry, this will only take a minute."

"Oscar Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door... ...but apparently his girlfriend was dead against it."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black."